A few months ago I was venting to Sam that I hadn’t really had any relaxing nights away to myself. Every time I was away from him and Eve it was either for a show — and those are anything but relaxing — or it was to fly out to California for my aunt’s funeral or it was when I was still nursing and therefore still had to pump. Sam, on the other hand, had many (presumably) relaxing nights all to himself, including a trip to Nashville for a bachelor party. (Not that I’m itching to go away to Nashville for a bachelor party.)
Now, I recognize that I am in a fortunate position where I have been able to get away at all. I understand that’s not even a possibility for some parents. And don’t get me wrong, I love Eve (and being a mom) to pieces and Sam (and being married to him). But sometimes I just need a break. To do things that make me happy without the constraints of a small child who is absolutely amazing but who also demands a lot of energy (and patience) and to remember who I am as an individual. To put my own needs first for a couple days and actually sit down for an entire meal.
We all need a break sometimes.
So a few months ago when Sam and I were planning out our summer and we were figuring out dates to go to Cape Cod with his parents, Sam suggested that he take Eve for one or two of those weekends and I could stay here by myself.
I know that staying home while my husband and daughter go to beach for a weekend may sound a little strange (should be the opposite, right?) but I jumped on it. I love getting away, but there is also something really fantastic about having your home, the place where you are most comfortable, all to yourself.
You guys, it was AWESOME. It was both amazingly productive and incredibly relaxing. I spent time with friends — I even went out both Friday and Saturday and didn’t get home until almost midnight both nights. I think it’s been YEARS since I’ve stayed out that late two nights in a row. I went to Fenway Park with a friend who could get us $5 tickets but only a half hour after the game started and it wasn’t sold out. So we stood on a very long line and took our chances and we got in to see a Red Sox vs. Yankees game, which is a BIG DEAL if you live in Boston.
I cleaned and organized Eve’s room, which may sound like an odd thing to do when you have a weekend to yourself at home but it’s really hard to do it when she’s home and I had been wanting to do it for months. I worked on my ebook for several uninterrupted hours and made great progress with it. I went to the Saturday-morning Zumba class at my gym. I “slept in” until 7:30 one morning and lounged in bed and read a fantastic book. I read on my porch for several hours and savored my coffee and soaked in the beautiful morning. I basically read for hours because I could and reading — especially in bed or on on my porch — is one of my happy places.
I relished in the quiet and solitude and felt like I was on vacation in my own home.
On Sunday afternoon I went to Sam’s parents’ house, and as I walked up I heard in an excited voice “Mama! Mama!” and was greeted by Eve’s beautiful, smiling face and the biggest hug. I’ll admit, while the weekend was wonderful — and I would do it again in a heartbeat — I missed them. Having a few days to myself made me appreciate them all over again, and to see Eve so excited to see me after being away melted my heart.